Lil Wayne Phones It In, Raps About Sex Tape on Leaked Paris Hilton Track

(Getty)Paris Hilton and Afrojack are no longer inseparable now that she's dating River Whatshisface, but their relationship did have lasting consequences: "Last Night," a party track featuring a very, very bored Lil Wayne. Let's hope he got a nice check for this. Also in music news, Lady Gaga is humping cakes on camera, R. Kelly may take Trapped in the Closet to Broadway, an anonymous journalist got real about the Rihanna plane, Nicki Minaj wears a lot of outfits in her new music video (zzzzz), and more.

Weezy Waxes Poetic On ParisLil Wayne will be the first to tell you that he cares more about skating than he does music these days, and, well... it shows. The rapper is prominently featured on "Last Night," the Afrojack-produced Paris Hilton single that never was.

Hilton reportedly shelved plans to release the song sometime around when she and Afrojack stopped traveling the world together as "friends," which is why it now appears in another form on Pitbull's new album Global Warming. But the original is definitely more memorable, albeit for all the wrong reasons.

Weezy's rap is pretty straightforward... and surprising, given how notoriously sensitive Hilton is about her sex tape past:

Last night was awesomeSuper f**king awesomeIt was me, myself, and I and herWe had ourselves a foursomeAnd I didn't want the night to endPercocet meet VicodinNow I'm gone, like the windAnd you're the bomb I'll bite the pin, boomWhatever, I could love you betterBust it wide open for a Trukfit sweaterAnd I could make you put a little duck, get wetterAnd it's been world peace since I met herLast night I had fun with herI got 99 problems, but not 1 with herAnd excuse my French but f**k the camerasI wanna spend a night in Paris

So basically, Lil Wayne has built his excuse for the verse into the verse: Blame it on the Perco-din.

Lady Gaga Ruins a Perfectly Good CakeLady Gaga released another snippet of her upcoming Terry Richardson "film" Cake, this one pornier than the last. If you really want to see Lady Gaga grinding on a poor, helpless cake in like four different positions, then watch this. If you really want to watch Lady Gaga air thrust in a bathtub, then watch this. Also, you are gross.

Yes, I watched it too. Worth noting: The video is classified on YouTube as "Nonprofits & Activism."Broadway Is About to Get Some Real DramaR. Kelly unveiled the latest chapters in his ongoing hip-hopera Trapped in the Closet in New York City this week, revealing in a subsequent Q&A that he plans to take his melodrama to the Great White Way. Rolling Stone reports that Kelly told the audience there's a Broadway production in the future.

Kelly also discussed how Trapped in the Closet came to be: "I don't have a job, so I sit in the studio all the time and think of stupid stuff to do. And this is just something stupid I've done that's been successful. I'm having a lot of fun with it."

The Rihanna Plane Saga ContinuesThe biggest story to emerge from Rihanna's "777" tour is that there is no real story. Rather, the story isn't about Rihanna, who has only made herself available to journalists once on the week-long mini tour, but those who gathered to write about her: They're tired, cranky, hungry, and a lot of them really wish they had access to, you know, a bathroom. Most have kept their complaints relatively polite, but on Monday Gawker published the unfiltered musings of an "Anonymous Rihanna Plane Captive." And it's brutal. Makes you wonder whether Rihanna actually likes her job. Also, she eats like a 14-year-old boy.

Rihanna Reviews: Not GoodUnfortunately, Rihanna's streak of bad press is going to stretch out beyond the end of the "777" tour, as her new album Unapologetic is getting mostly negative reviews. The most searin! g tidbits! :

Los Angeles Times: [While] the new Rihanna record may be at times sonically exciting, what resides beneath the new bass-heavy, Skrillex-inspired music is still a fast-food burger, one with a lot of extra sauce and some very disturbing ingredients. ... Rihanna can be as unapologetic as she feels she needs to be, and can support Brown all she wants. But when she starts dragging down Eminem, somebody needs to atone.

The A.V. Club: "Rihannas much-discussed duet with Brown, Nobodys Business, forms the rotten core of Unapologetic, a fiery pop album thats unfortunately coated in the icky residue of unearned defiance that has marked Browns recent output."

The Guardian: "So there's stuff here that's worth hearing, if you could untangle the music from the artist's personal life. But you can't, and furthermore, you get the feeling that the artist doesn't want you to. Perhaps it's quite a cold and canny move masquerading as an outpouring of unpalatable emotion, playing on the public's prurient interest in her love life. Perhaps that's too cynical. Either way, for all its musical value, listening to Unapologetic is! a pretty! depressing experience."

Nicki Minaj Gets Deep with "Freedom" VideoNicki Minaj plays with some pretty heavy imagery in her new music video for "Freedom," and yet it's still kind of slow. Minaj sports a crown of thorns as she raps about not getting the respect she deserves, just like Jesus. Delusions of grandeur: Always great entertainment!

Rocking the TubeLetterman: Tegan and SaraLeno: Wanda JacksonConan: Flo RidaCarson Daly: WolfgangKimmel: Andy AlloFallon: Pitbull

Listen! Download or stream Lifelike's remix of The Presets' "Promises," the second single off the Australian duo's most recent album Pacifica. The band will release a remix bundle for the song on December 4. Stream On and On's new single "The Hunter," the second off their forthcoming album Give In, out January 29, 2013. Download Matt Pond's "Love to Get Used," the lead single off his upcoming album The Lives Inside the Lines in Your Hand. "The song specifically references the explorer side of my family," says Pond. "An endless loop of pride and regret, battling through a history of late nights."

You Haven't Seen This YetThe Julia Pasternak-directed music video for Rush Midnight's "Crush" offers a close look at New Yo! rk City's! W.A.F.F.L.E. breakdance crew. Rush Midnight's Russ Manning explained of the concept, "I've always been fascinated by movies that capture specific eras of the New York subways; Jacob's Ladder and The Warriors are great examples. I woke up one day in July and decided I was going to find the best subway dance crew." He found them on the Q train.

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